It's official!

Grades were finally posted today and it is official, I have my degree!!! Who wants to celebrate? Seriously? Let's set up something for after the first of the year when things are less crazy. We can meet for drinks, not you Cat, and celebrate Cat's news as well as mine.

Who's in?

I feel good, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah:-)
I knew that I would
So good!

LOL,
CDR

Whew, what a week!

Getting back into the swing of things can be tough. I only spent two days at my desk to work, the rest of the time, I was teaching in various locations and at a conference. Plus, this week was book fair week and that was crazy. Fortunately my aid ran the whole thing and sold over $8000 in product to give us $4600 in "free" books. Whoo, Hooo!!!

I was at this conference that was mind numbing and I hear my name. My name is not the most common so I figured whoever it was must be calling me. I turn around and there stands a friend from college, Kim Schalk. She says hi to everyone and tells me she is doing great. I also ran into old friends from my old school who were there having their brains bored to tears as well. I was able to catch up on some gossip. If it hadn't been for seeing Kim and the gossip, it would have been the longest day.

In one week, you will all (I know it's about five people out there) be able to congratulate me. I will officially be done with my Master's Degree. That paper that I procrastinated on is finished and I must say, it's not bad at all. I presented it last night and thought that went very well. Pay raise, here I come. No more classes, no more books... at least until my cert. is up again.

The family is doing very well and things seem to be getting back to normal. Now we just have to figure out how to get our Christmas decorations up.

LOL,
CDR

They're out!

What a morning! We arrived at the hospital at 6:45 as directed and were taken into preop. Mallory did great with the whole not eating or drinking thing. It's like she knew something was up last night and didn't even ask about food or drink. So we are sitting there waiting for the doctors to get everything ready and we hear this loud crash, like a person has fallen from their hospital bed onto the floor. Nope, it wasn't the patient next to us, but her finance who hit the dirt and hard. They had to take him to the ER while she went in for surgery.

Anyway, back to us. They took Mallory into surgery at 7:30 as scheduled and said it would be about an hour. At 8:30 the doctor came out and said all went well. We waited about 10 more minutes and then we were able to go see her. She wasn't even crying, such a big girl. I grabbed her up and rocked her for about an hour while she slept. Then the ugly started, fortunately it wasn't too ugly. We had a bit of vomit, but that was OK and to be expected. She shook it off, had some water, then rested for a bit longer. We were able to get her to eat the Popsicle and then it was time to go. Now another ugly. For those of you who know me, you know that I am a bit squeamish when it comes to needles and blood. Well, Mallory still had to have her IV taken out and of course they want Mommy to put pressure on the hole in her tiny hand. It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't actually seen the needle, but I did and then there was a bit of blood. If I hadn't been sitting, I would have been in the ER with the other guy from earlier. Fortunately, my mom and Rodd were there. Rodd took Mallory and Mom took me. The nurse thought I was a nurse before this happened because I understood what she was talking about. That's because my mom is a nurse and I paid attention. I was so embarrassed. Rodd took Mallory to the car while I sat there like a dork trying to compose myself. The nurse gave me some apple juice and all was better. Also, the longer I stayed there, the more I could hear words that were not good for me to hear, like IV, etc. I'm such a loser and I can't believe that that effected me so much. She's my baby and I should be able to see that stuff. I guess now we know, but Rodd isn't good with that stuff either. My prayers are that we never have to face it again.

Well, we are home and Mallory is really doing great. She is liking the Popsicles and sherbet. It's hard not to give her milk, but it can be gaggy. Tylenol with Codeine is also a nice touch for the pain, hers not mine. I may have a beer though.

Thanks for all of the thoughts, prayers, and well wishes.

LOL,
CDR

Procrastination

I have just one paper left to write and just two more class nights to attend and I will officially have my Master's degree. However, the words for said paper seem to elude me and I cannot focus. It's a research proposal and it just hurts my brain to even try to wrap myself around its concept. I know the material, but developing a science project is not my line of ability. I didn't do them in grade school and I can't fathom why it's so important for me to do one now. I would benefit so much more by having another literature class or kids literature class, but no, I have to be stuck in the most boring, painful class on the planet. I think I may have written about this before, but it's just not fun. I have an amazing GPA so far, if I do say so myself, and I will be happy with a B in this class. I'm ready to take the B at this point and just be done. Now if only the words would flow and I would be done.

Of course I don't have anything else on my mind this weekend, like say surgery on Monday morning or anything. More on that endeavor after its completion.

LOL,
CDR

Now comes the fever, what next?

On Friday, Mallory was acting very sluggish and just not herself. She had a slight temp. so we did the Motrin then Tylenol thing through Saturday. When the temp. hit 103, we decided that enough was enough and since it was Saturday, we ventured to the ER. Why now? She can't have a fever and have surgery so I'm so happy that we took her in. They checked her out and decided that she only has an ear infection and can treat that with the 5 day antibiotic instead of 10 day amoxicillin, which will allow us to keep the surgery date. They were scared that she had strep and then we would really be up a creek without a paddle. The dotcor took one look at her throat and said, "man, those tonsils are huge." Guess the decision to have them out along with the adenoids has been the right one. We are so looking forward to her being well. My mom is coming down to hold our hands during surgery and the first 24 hours or so. Thanks God for moms! Keep us in your thoughts and send your prayers/well wishes.

I was looking over my work budget and I need to let that simmer a bit. I am very close to going over and the super. will not like that. I just get so excited to order new books for the kids. They are so excited to have someone actually order new things. Maybe I'll just wait another month before I spend the remaining balance. I wouldn't want them to think I'm greedy.

LOL,
CDR

The date is set

Monday, November 19, our baby goes in to have the adenoids and tonsils out. This is so scary. Do they give mommies sedatives? I think they should.

More later,
CDR

Halloween

I'm ready for trick or treating, Mom! Daddy and Ladybug.

Mommy and Ladybug.

Adenoids it is!

Daddy took Mallory to the doctor and the doctor said, "no more adenoids jumping in your nose." We haven't scheduled the surgery yet, but I will work on that one tomorrow. I don't know why they only want to take out the adenoids and not the tonsils, but apparently her adenoids are really blocking her airway which is leading to her breathing through her mouth, which could then in turn be making her cough. Of course, she has another stuffy nose/cold right now that we are fighting so the coughing continues and continues, oh yeah, and continues!!!

On the work front, things are good. I really love what I do when I'm allowed to do it. I find that some people are stuck in the "it's always been done that way" frame of mind. I think that the admin. is very supportive, but only when I don't push too hard and I don't want to push too hard because I'm not tenured yet, which is not fun. I have a small confession to make, but it goes no farther. If a certain former employer were in need of a certified SLMS, I would apply and deep down I kind of hope that happens. It's not that I don't like where I'm working, I really do and the people are great. They have really opened up to many of my ideas and they have welcomed me without a doubt. I'm just feeling a bit homesick for my friends. I can't tell you how much I miss Nancy. It's so hard to not talk to her everyday. She's busy and I'm busy and because we aren't in the same building, district, city, it's just hard. There are so many good things about my new place, but the friendships from the old place weigh on me sometimes. Is that crazy? Plus today was especially hectic and I had to be several places at the same time. I did all of the work ones, but I had to miss Mallory's drs app. That was not fair, but the dr. changed the app. and I just couldn't get there. Rodd is giving me feedback from the notes he took, that I made him take, but because I was in the elementary today, I couldn't leave. Rodd did do a good job, but I missed a very important appointment, that hurts.

Anyway, I guess it's just one of those days. When I get a chance I will post some Halloween pics. Mallory was a ladybug, super cute.

LOL,
CDR

Allergies or Tonsilitis?

We took the peanut to see an ENT last week because the coughing is driving us all nuts, plus her behavior has been a little less than desired. The ENT was great and told us that her tonsils are very enlarged and that may be the root cause of lots of things. However, we want to rule out allergies before we cut her open so she is on new allergy meds to see if they work. We will find out more on November 6.

She did have a better week, but the child seems to think that 5:30am is morning time. SHe climbs into bed with us and carries on a conversation. We are trying to sleep. This morning I took her back to bed so we could at least get some more rest. She, however, had other plans and was playing very loudly. R eventually got up to see what she was up to. I was very cranky and decided to stay in bed. 5:30 is way to early for chipper conversation by anyone. I would say that we did have a better week, but I know that this is not going to be over. She is three and testing herself against us. So far I am the stronger one, but R's getting there.

Have a great week,
CDR

Terrible threes or just plain spoiled?

Mallory had the worst fit today and of course it was in church. She was so horrible before we even left to go, but we insisted on going. We get there and all h-e-l-l breaks out. She doesn't want to be left alone in Sunday School, so we stay with her. She won't go up front with her class and sing, so she sits on my lap. She tells me she doesn't want me and I think good, that's good, she'll do this. As soon as I step away, she wants R. I go to her and she just throws this fit. We finally take her and sit in the back. She won't go up and sing. She won't let go of us, but yet she doesn't want us. She pushes and screams. I take her out and to the bathroom because I actully needed to go. She just cries and carries on. She ends up getting spanked which does no good. Isnt' the saying spare the rod, spoil the child? I take her back in to see if she will play with the musical toys the other kids are playing with and she just won't. We sit down and she proceeds to hit me. That's when things really got bad. I just about hit her back and hard. I was so FURIOUS. Of course R sees this from a distance and looses it. He starts yelling at her, she's crying, and yes, hello, we are still in church. We put her down a hallway out of earshot of everyone else and let her get over it, a time out deal. It doesn't get any better. People are walking by wondering what is going on. They try to comfort us by telling us stories of their kids, which really only makes us more upset. R looks like he's going to shoot steam out of his ears.

As soon as she sees us, she just starts screaming again. This is the most spoiled little girl and I'm done with it. She was so horrible!!! We finally left. I got up early to go to Sunday School and Church only to leave early and deal with this monster of a child. I then lost it in the car and was just screaming at her. I have never been so ashamed and embarrassed. What are we doing wrong that she thinks she can do this? Of course, by leaving church, she has won and that just pisses me off even more. We should have left her in Sunday School to see how she would be without us. That is the plan for next week.

Then there's the thought, what if they don't want her back? What if my child is the child teachers don't want in class because she is so horrible? I discipline her at home, but R lets her get away with everything. We talk about this and he fixes things for about 5 minutes and then goes right back to letting her get away with things. She thinks that he is her toy and whenever she wants something she gets it. For example, if little miss wants to watch a movie, he will stop what ever he's watching and let her watch something. If she wants to play a game, he's jumping up to get one out. This is true for most everything that goes on in our house. I am so sick of it and he just won't change. The situation is just getting worse. He's a great dad and there for her always, but she sees that as whatever I want, I just need to ask Daddy. Oh, and if I here her say, I can't one more time, I might wash her mouth out with soap or worse. I'm probably going to end up in trouble for saying these things, but those of you who know me, know I just need to vent.

Here's to a happier week!
CDR

Lack of Motivation

I'm sitting here thinking, I should really start that paper. It's the last paper, the epitome of papers that has to be done. Do I have it started? Nope. This class is my last class towards my Masters and I can't wait to be done. However, I find it very difficult to get motivated for it. I totally wish I had taken this class around the middle of the program and saved a cool literature class for last. I can honestly say that had I taken this class to begin with, I would have thought about dropping out of the program. However, here I am in this class and I dread it. I know the information is important and I'm sure at some point I will need to know how to compile research in the best possible way, I'm just not there right now. I'm hoping my motivation picks up next week at the state's conference for my profession. I can't wait to go and discuss issues with others in my position. It's so great to have the opportunity to network, plus I get to see some classmates from the program that I don't get to see anymore. It is going to be so fun.

On the home front, Mallory is still coughing and coughing. What is with that? I called the doctor today and said she was coughing. The nurse's response, "along with every other child in the office." Therefore, I guess, we just have to let it run its course. It is so painful to hear her cough. You know the cough, the one that sits her up and makes her unable to catch her breath. It scares her. The makers of all cough medicines should be sued by us moms. They are worthless, yet we pay lots of money for them. Plus, we can't just get them any more, thanks to the meth addicts. I was actually carded Saturday trying to buy Triaminic. This made me mad and happy at the same time. You only need to be 18 to buy it. I must have looked young that day.

A few weeks ago, I got together with some very close friends from college. It was so great to see them and they can really brighten up life. I just wish I could see them more often. It's too bad that life gets so busy and we don't go out more often. We should try to establish some sort of scheduled get together every other month or so. Those who can come do and those who can't, that's OK. We just sort of have a calendar of meeting dates and try to get together. Girlfriends are the best therapy and it needs to be done more.

Hope everyone is having a splendid week!

LOL,
CDR

Here we go again!

I don't know if you remember, but last fall about this time, the illness that wouldn't go away started. We had cold, flu (twice), pink eye, etc. We seem to be heading that way again. I'm home today with the Princess who has a horrible cough. Plus she was up all night coughing and R had some weird intestinal thing going on that quite frankly grossed me out. Why are boys so yucky? Anyway, I just had M to the doctor on Wednesday for her 3 year check up and of course all was super duper then. Two days later of course, things are ugly and quite possibly could get worse. I do have to say to my friend Lawmommy, that I also had to hold a cup for the speciman at the doctor's office. M didn't want to do it at all. She kept saying, "no Mommy, I pee in the toilet, not the cup." I finally moved the cup and told her to just go. I then snuck around back and put the cup under her from behind. Her little butt doesn't cover the entire hole and this was the easiest way. It was messy, but I did it. We made sure to wash very, very well upon completion.

Now, back to man yuckies. What is their deal? I know that if I'm sick I try to keep things in one area. Why do they need to share the yuck? I mean, is it really all that hard, not to move through the room, then house sharing all kinds of germs, etc. with the entire family? And then my favorite, roll over and cough in my face. After the first extremely gross episode, he decided the go watch TV. I get that he was up, but why move around and be gross? Of course M was up coughing, R was sick and moving around. Did I get any sleep? NOPE!!! It's like this conspiracy to not let me sleep and I think I may need to sue the makers of Robitussen. That stuff does not work. Plus we tried many other drugs to no avail with the coughing. R's problem had him at the doctor's office where I made him go. He is yucky and needs something. I made him see my doctor. I have confirmed that he showed up and was given an antibiotic. That better do the trick or there will be hell to pay tonight. For those of you who don't share a bed with a man, be thankful this does not happen to you. If you still want/love a man after this grossness, it is truly love. One more time, YUCK!

The thing keeping me going is that tomorrow I get to see some old girlfriends and I can't wait. Maybe I'll leave the yuck maker home.

LOL,
CDR

Birthday Party and Fun

For the three of you who read my blog, I'm sorry that I haven't been posting lately. All is well here, just busy.

We celebrated Mallory's third birthday Sunday. Here's the yummy cake and do I mean yummy!

Her official day was yesterday though. She is so lucky/spoiled. She got a ton of clothes, plus toys, books, movies, and stuffed animals. She ripped through her presents in record time. I can't believe she is three. She was so little when she was born. It just seems so weird to see her now. She is a leader at daycare/preschool. She sits at the big kid table. She is potty trained. She doesn't get a bink anymore. She is such a big girl.




























I am so excited that this weekend, we are getting the chance to see some old friends. I can't wait to see everyone. I feel like I've been out of the loop because I haven't seen them, even though I am a regular blog reader.

Life in fast forward

It's been a busy start to the year and I'm loving it. I have really been able to do so many things and I'm getting to know everyone day by day. I am in two buildings most of the time and the third one, I'm hoping to get to more often. I can't believe it's been almost three weeks since school started. I have been doing so much, it seems like we just got started.

I just love fall and am sorry to say that the heat has come back. I want fall. I love everything about it. The smells, the chill in the air, college football, leaves changing colors, frost in the morning, apple cidar, hay rides, pumpkin patches, crunching leaves, open windows, fresh air, ahhhhhhh! It is all so great and then today it's 80 degrees. The weekend is looking better though and maybe cooler next week. I hope so.

M's 3rd birthday is coming up in two weeks. I can't believe it. She is so funny I asked her what kind of cake she wanted and here is her reply:

"I want a Strawberry Shortcake caaaaake, a chocolate caaaake, a Blue's caaaaake, and a blueberry caaaaake."

All drawn out just like that. Can't you just hear it? That's my child, uh huh. Sweet tooth, watch out! She just cracks me up. I may have to order a marble sheet cake decorated with assorted characters. She also loves Maisy Mouse, Curious George, Clifford, Mickey, Tigger, Pooh, Piglet, etc. I could put renditions of them all on one cake and be the best mom ever. Or I can just get one and she really might not notice the others are missing. Of course, now that's she is three, she is very perceptive. We can no longer spell words, she knows what we are saying. The other day, R said he would take her to the p-a-r-k while I vacuumed (she hates the vacuum) and she said, "I like to go to the park!" Smarty pants!

Sorry for the randomness, the first cold of the year is trying to take over, but I'm putting up a fight.

LOL,
CDR

Overwhelming

There are times when I wonder what I was thinking by making this career change. I am so excited about the job, but there are so many other things that I will be doing and those make me nervous. Today, I was able to meet with the staff for the first time. I think it went well. It's my first year of teaching all over again. I sure hope that they understand that concept and it will take me time to fix the problems.

Anyway, enough about work. I am going to focus on more important matters. M still has a cold. Here we go again with the illnesses. Back to daycare is hard on everyone. She cried yesterday when I dropped her off and then so did I. I know she loves it there, she is just so tired and it is so hard to not let her sleep in. We even put her to bed no later than 7:30 and getting up at 6:45 is hard. Now remember, all summer she was up at 6:30 every day wanting to play, watch TV, not sleep when Mommy does, etc. Now it's the opposite. It's like she's a teenager already.

R's work's AC broke down today so he left early. It is so hot there with all of the machines running. His brother is furious with the heating/cooling company. That's a mess. R's mom had minor surgery on her ear this week. For the most part, she seems to be doing well. I haven't spoken with her, but R saw her today and thought she looked good. She can be a bit downtrodden when it comes to anything medical.

Who out there hates high gas prices? Yep, thought so. What the heck? I hate the fact that just because it's a holiday, they beef up the price. I need gas to get to work, not holiday plans. We are going to my parents for the weekend, but it's only Wednesday and the price is super high, $3.09 here in town. It's too bad we can't bottle "natural gas" ;-) and use that in our cars. My brothers could supply enough to run all of our cars, the tractors, and then some.

Anyway, have a super day/night/week/weekend!!!

LOL,
CDR

Who was that man?

I have been to my new media center/library now for a few days and I am wondering what happened. Who was my predecessor? I am amazed at what I'm finding. Fortunatly, I have had some really amazing help and have been able to weed through the collection. I have filled dumpsters with so much stuff, including books. I know,you're asking how could you? It is essential to weed the collection in order to build the collection. The items discarded were so old they were falling apart, had actual bugs living in them, and some were as old as 1920. These are not materials that students are going to use. I can't figure out how or why these things were on the shelves, but we are making room for the new and improved. I can't wait to get this party started. It is so awesome to work there. People are really excited for change and I'm excited to know what they want and expect. Fun, fun, fun!!!

Some other techy news. I created a WebQuest for my class this summer and I'm going to use it at school to teach the kids some really cool research methods. I FINALLY was able to get it posted online. Here's the site if you want to check it out. I would love to hear what you think and if there are any mistakes that I need to fix. My WebQuest.

M has only been back in daycare for five days and she already has a cold. At least we think it's a cold. She does have allergies, but we never know for sure which it is. We give her both medicines hoping that one will work. Not to be gross, but you moms know this, her snot is clear which tells me she's fine and it's probably allergies. She was so sick last fall because of daycare, I just don't want to go through that again. I know it builds up her immune system, but it's so hard to watch, listen to, etc. Poor little thing.

I guess that is all for now. Teachers out there, have a great first week back to school. Wish me luck and good luck to my friends Things My Beagle Knows and KT in their new jobs too.

LOL,
CDR

Very frustrated

I am taking this online course. It's three weeks and three credits for way less than WSU is offering. Anyway, everything started out dandy. I am always online checking the discussions, etc. I have created a webquest to be posted online as the final assignment for the class. This is not happening. I have spent countless hours trying to post to various hosting sites with no luck. I truly believe that the version of FrontPage that I'm using is the problem. If I have to redo this thing, I cannot explain how utterly angry I will be. Why would the professor not share this knowledge with me? Don't you think that would have been handy? Also, every time I tell him it won't post, he suggests a new host. I may need to drive to Indiana and slap him. If any of my two or so readers know how to post using FrontPage from Office XP, feel free to share your wisdom. My patience is gone, gone, gone!!! Please help my sanity if I have to redo this.

In other frustrations, I went to work in my new MC yesterday and whew, what a mess. I'm so lucky that I had someone there to help me clean and throw away stuff. That's right we threw away stuff. In order to build a collection, it must be weeded. The retired person must have shut down quite some time ago because we found just a mess of things. You would think that the library would be organized, not so much. Another thing that is frustrating is that this particular MC is not really its own room, it's more of the central hallway. This could be good, but it really isn't. Kids pretty much can go where ever after hours and we found a used tampon in the stacks. You read that right, go back and have a look see. Would a used condom have been better or worse? I guess the good news is, it was old. I still have a ton of sorting to do and it will take time to get things the way I want them. I cannot change everything over night.

In other news, my co-workers from my old school met today for brunch with me. It was their idea and it was super nice to see everyone. I am going to miss them more than I can say. They have been my family for seven years. I cry every time I think about it. I know that this change is good and in order to grow, I must take a chance; it's just so hard to leave them. A new guy was hired to replace me and that's hard to know. I've been replaced and with a guy. That's weird.

Only a few more days before the official first day of school. Wish me luck.

LOL,
CDR

Change is good!

So many things have happened in the last week. I am a year older, one class ended and another began, and I went to my new school today. I am so excited to officially be a media specialist.

I knew that I was going into a position that many people don't take seriously and I'm not sure why that is. I am still a teacher. I will still be teaching very important skills to our future social security contributors. I am the district media specialist and that is a BIG deal. It is so important to schools and I get so frustrated when people think I am less of a teacher because of this particular teaching position. I am VERY excited to say that my new place of employment feels that my position is very important and they can't wait to see what I can do. They have given me lots of hats to wear and I glady accept the challenge. I took this position because it is my passion, but I am still nervous about seniority. The hats that I will be wearing will help to secure my position and that is a very good thing. But, whew, I have a mountain to climb.

When the former librarian retired, another teacher wanted his desk and took it. That's fine, but the one I have doesn't have drawers. What kind of a desk doesn't come with drawers? Also, there is no stapler, no tape, no pencil, no scissors, notta! I just thought that was funny. I also discovered that there are these amazing books on a shelf that students can't see. Why might you ask? Apparently the former librarian didn't want kids to steal them so he had them hidden. It's a library, shouldn't they be able to see the new and cool things to check out? I'll be moving them where they belong next week.

Anyway, I am very excited about my new job and the school district. There is so much enthusiasm in the staff already and I have only met a few. I can't wait to meet them all. This year is going to be very busy, just like the very first year of teaching. It will be so worth it!!!

(CB, remind me of this post in February when I get frustrated.)

LOL,
CDR

The change

It's official, I resigned from work today and signed the paperwork at the new school today. It was very odd to resign. I cried a lot when I was delivering my letter. I have been there for seven years and I wouldn't know what I know if I hadn't been there. I take that knowledge with me as I move on and am grateful for that. I will miss my friends so much. It's so strange to go to my classroom and pack up my stuff. I couldn't do it. R is going with me later to help. He'll keep me focused. I debate my decision regularly even though I truly believe I am doing the right thing. When I go to the new school, I am overwhelmed with how nice they are and how willing they are to make this easy for me. They are so welcoming. I can't wait to get started and I know that I am going to love the job. It is what I want to do. I feel like a kid going to school on the first day without any friends. I know I will adjust, but it is so odd to leave my comfort and friends. I'm also worried about the kids. I don't want them to think I left with hard feelings. I will miss them so much. I have adjusted to them and them to me. New kids all over again, yikes. It is bitter sweet this decision that I have made. I can't wait to get started though. I'm just nervous. Once I get my old room cleaned out and can face my new work, it will all be OK. Still sad though for a bit.

By the way, we moved the books back into M's room. She kept getting out of bed and leaving her room to get the books. We felt it would be better for her to just enjoy them.

As you can see, I also decided to change to look of by blog. Sometimes, change is good.

LOL,
CDR

I PASSED

'nough said!!!

Two more days....

to wait for the blessed test results. Why in the world does it take so long? It's simple, scan the score sheet and send me the score. Now I realize that there are potentially thousands of people taking their certification tests on the same day, but really is all that hard to score a multiple choice test. I've done over a hundred in just an hour or two and I don't have a machine to do it. Being in limbo and not knowing exactly where I will be working in one month is really taking its toll on me. I just want to know and get to work. I have things I could be doing for either position and can't because of this test. This test is the end all, be all of crap. I've been in this position before and have lost out and I know I was devastated then. I know that I will be this time as well even if I've been telling myself not to get my hopes up. It will happen and I will be crushed and crying for days again. The first three weeks of waiting weren't as bad as these last few days. It's just overwhelming and unthinkable that we should have to wait for test results for so long. I know people in other professions who take the test at a site online in a structured environment and know when they leave if they passed or failed. Why can't this happen for the teaching profession? Are they so worried that we will cheat? It amazes me the lengths the state has gone to to deter the cheating and the fact that the reason for these deterants is because someone probably cheated. How and why would they cheat? The waiting game is taking over my mind and I don't know how much more I can take. Both schools want and need to know what I'm doing. I have paperwork to fill out to resign and paperwork to fill out for the new school, but I can't do either because I don't know which to do. This brings me to why is each little city/village its own school district? Why not have a county school district? This would be beneficial in so many ways. First, I wouldn't be worrying about changing districts. Second, they would only have to pay one superintendent instead of 10-20 depending on the county. Third, school's of choice would not be an issue. The county district would simply get the money no matter what. Fourth, teachers and students would be able to work harder with and for each other with smaller class sizes. I'll stop there, but mostly it is about me for now. What a pain in the !@#% this is!!!

Also, my sweet little toddler seems to be taking on aggressive tendancies and I don't know what to do about them. The other night she was sitting on my lap and we were watching Maisy. Maisy was singing Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star so I started to sing along to M. She head butted me in the face with the back of her head. I thought she broke my nose. I was crying and let out some serious naughty words. It hurt like a $%^*!!! R came in and took her so I could look at the damage, which fortunately for everyone, there was no visible damage. That was Monday and my nose and tooth still hurt. The tooth may in fact be a bit loose. Why did she do this? I was just trying to sing her a song. R made it very clear to her that she hurt me and she said she was sorry with what seemed like some sympathy. That is the one thing I can count on from him. He will be stern with her if she hurts me in any way. Later, I went to tuck her in and I started to cry again because I was just so sad that she had done this. I think she really felt bad, but it just floored me that she had done this. She has been a kicker and a pusher on occasion, but never has she been so deliberate in hurting. I have really had to be quite stern with her lately as well. She doesn't want to take a nap and instead plays or reads books. Today while she was supposed to be napping, she had blocks, book, animals, and a trash can in her bead. I also discovered that she had filled the toilet with wet wipes and had clogged it. I really got after her and she did what I told her and went to sleep, but I had to really get after her. Am I being too strict? I'm hoping that this is just a stage. She seems to have so much energy and it's so hot out that we can't really burn it off. Am I horrible for just wanting to read a book or watch the news and drink my coffee? I know my friend at LawMommy would tell me to not feel guilty and I will try very hard not to be. I feel more guilt while being home with her than I do when I work. I know that staying at home is not my gig and work will do me, her, and R some good. I don't feel guilty about working. I know that when I leave her at daycare she is eating, playing, socializing, sharing, laughing, learning, running, jumping, etc. She has a great time there and I don't worry or feel one bit guilty. I just don't know how to get her to understand that hitting of any kind is bad and when I say no, I mean no.

In other family news, my mom cracked a rib when she fell into a boat, my dad is on oxygen at night for his sleep appnia (sp), my oldest brother and his family are doing OK after the wife was released from the room of bars, my second brother and his family are finally moved into their new addition after years of work, and my third brother and his family are doing well right where they are. My inlaws insist that my two year old can ride in the car in just a booster seat and R doesn't seem to care. Hello, it's against the state law for her not to be in a car seat!!! My brother-in-law won't let his four year old run at the park, very amusing. My sister-in-law and I have a fun connection and we laugh about lots of things, usually relating to how alike yet different our husbands are and about how our mother-in-law is always discussing weird medical conditions that we just don't want to know.

Have a great whatever, since I post most irregulary.
LOL,
CDR

Thoughts for this week

Is it possible that my little sweetie is turning into the diva child? I think so. She woke up with an a-t-t-i-t-u-d-e!!! The day didn't get much better. I've decided that I love her tremendously, but there is a reason why I'm not a stay at home mom. She is a ball of energy and all I want to do is enjoy my cups of coffee and watch GMA for just 30 minutes. That's it. Also, I would prefer to not be up before 7am. I did get her to sit in bed with me and watch some show on the channel with the mouse, but she was still awake. Also, why does R cave each and every second she demands something? It doesn't matter what it is, he jumps the second she wants it. I'm really peeved about that. It totally leaves me on the bad side of evil when I say no. I think what I need to do is get her out of the house on some expedition of sorts. It must be cheap or free and not too far away. I'm thinking about the museum, the zoo, and water park that aren't too far away, but I'm up for any suggestions.

Also, as a person who loves books, would it be absolutely awful of me to remove books from her bedroom? She ends up with 20 or so in bed with her. She has no room to move and now is starting to overuse them into little paper bits. She isn't being destructive necessarily, but she is reading them so much that the covers are falling off. While one side of me is so excited that she loves to read, the other wants her to sleep without the books. Thoughts there?

In other news, I went to see my new potential place of work last week, the actual room. Holy man, do I have A LOT of work to do. The room is huge, which can be both good and bad. Also, there are several entrance points, two from the hallway, one to outside, and 3-4 from classrooms. This is bad. There is no desk in "my" office. One storage room is being turned into a virtual classroom. The collection is outdated and very small. It is quite possible that due to the size of the room, the collection looked small, but I don't think so. I know for a fact that the fiction collection was almost non-existant. I was also told that no more than 300 books are checked out per month, ever. WHAT??? That's not good. I guess on the positive side, whatever I do will be sure to be an improvement. It just makes me so nervous. Only two weeks, three days before I know the test results to know for sure if I will be movin' on up. The superintendent went to the board meeting last night with my name for the job. I really hope that the inside person doesn't file any grievance. This is hard enough without that issue to deal with.

Class this summer is going pretty well, considering all of the horror stories that I had heard about this particular class. It is a ton of work, but I really think she cut out some things. I have purposly waited to take this class because I knew how troubling it would be. I am happy to say, knock on wood, that so far things are going well. We are half way through and it's good. The funny thing is, and I have to share, it amazes me how some people get as far with their education as they do. My group is great and we are all working hard, however, there is this one lady in class who is just stupid. I know that is harsh, but OMG she is several fries short in the happy meal. I just don't know how she can be in the program let alone how she finished her undergrad work. Every time she speaks, I can see the prof. just wondering how, why? We as a class just look down and don't make eye contact. We know that we will just explode in laughter.

I guess that's all for now. I hope all is well with my fans and readers!!

LOL,
CDR

Time warp

About 12 years ago I stood in the same line that I stood in this past Saturday, the state teacher certification test line. First of all, they made us wait outside in the blistering heat. We coundn't take our purses in. Anyone who had a cell phone had to check it in and leave it at the door, like a coat check. It's top security. That was the only difference.

While waiting in the blistering heat, it was so funny to be standing there again, only this time with teaching experience and only there for an endorsement. There were these two girls in front of me discussing their summer etc. It was like a time warp. They chatted about how they were planning their student teaching and that they had these part time jobs for the summer. They were both married, recently I presume, and they discussed how their husbands wanted this and that. It was surreal listening to them talk about this. I was there 12 years ago. I was standing in that line taking my tests for the first time, about to student teach. The process is the exact same and the thoughts of those two young women were the same that I had all those years ago. It was quite the experience. After finding my seat, I made small talk with the girl next to me. Bless her, she asked if I was taking my subject area tests. I either look young or she was blind. She was taking her elementary test. Anyway, I think I did pretty well on my test, but I won't know until August 3rd. That is also the date that things may or may not be official at my prospective new employment. I have so many ideas as to what I want to do at the new place and can't wait to get started, but I'm not allowing myself just yet. I don't want to get my heart trampled on if I didn't pass the test. I hate tests. At least it wasn't in German!!

On another note, M started potty training one week ago and, knock on wood, things are going very well. She was ready and we were more that ready to get rid of stinky diapers. She even goes in by herself, shuts the door and tell me to wait outside. For some reason, she must strip completely from the waist down to do the job and she needs new undies when she is finished, no matter what. She has had few accidents and even caught herself today. She immediately jumped up and shouted she had to go. We rushed in there and she had actually stopped a number 2 and went on the potty. WHOO, HOO!!! My baby is a big girl, next step, bink fairy.

LOL,
CDR

A change of venue

Well, there have been some changes in our lives this week. It has been a whirlwind of events that have led to the possibility of a new job. Let's keep this a secret for now, but I just had to write about it.

I was encouraged to submit my resume and application to a nearby, very nearby, school district for an opening of a job that my Master's degree will be in this December. I thought, what the heck, it's good practice and I'll get my resume updated. I dropped off the paperwork on Monday afternoon. 10 minutes later, he called to schedule an interview for the next day. I missed the call, but was able to get in touch with him first thing Tuesday morning. I went in half an hour later for my first interview. Before I left he told me to come back on Wednesday for interview number 2 with the committee. I went to that and really asked some serious questions about job security, pay, tenure, etc. I thought they would offer the job to the in house person for sure. One hour after being home, they called and offered me the job. After some serious thought and discussion with R, I called today to accept. AHHH! It's all tentative and I have not resigned from my current position, hence the secrecy, but it looks like it's going to happen. I won't know until early August when I get my test results. I knew I should have taken that in April.

Here are my fears:
I have seniority where I'm at and I'm tenured. Will they value me or cut me out like so many other places are doing with this position right now?

I'm taking a pay cut that is pretty significant. However, they are not starting me at the bottom and will move me up mid year when my Master's is complete. Should I do it and take less?

Will the person who works in house file a grievance and win, leaving me jobless?

Is this the only opportunity for this job that I will have?

Will where I work figure out how valuable this position is and reinstate it in the near future?

And the big one, what if I fail the test? :-(

I LOVE the job and can't wait to do it, but it's so scary to not know what will happen. I get to recreate the job as I want it to be. I also get to fully use anything technology wise that I want. They really want me to reinvent this position as I want it to be.

Let me know what you think and/or send some positive thoughts our way.

LOL,
CDR

Random thoughts

I was checking out the last date that I wrote and thought I should at least write something.

Life has been very busy over the past three weeks. I have been working on my practicum which, to those of you not in my program, it's my internship. However, I don't like to call it that because people automatically assume that I am working on my undergrad degree. I guess it's a good thing that people think that, if they they think I look young, but I really think that they think I'm some old lady trying to get some degree late in life. Several people at the place where I'm doing this have given me some quizzical looks, but hey, oh well. I'm making some really good connections there and in fact am applying for a job as a media specialist tomorrow. I'm not finished with the program until Christmas, but it can't hurt to apply. We'll see how that goes.

I went back home this weekend with M. It's a four hour drive and she does really well in the car. I have the world's smallest bladder and had to stop three times on the way there to use the girls room. She was a bit annoyed with me that we weren't at Bumpa's house yet. I didn't stop once on the way home today. I chose my drinks carefully. Anyway, we went there to visit family and to go to a baby shower. One of my cousins/good friend is having a baby in December, but she lives in Arizona. The shower was now because this is when she would be here. It was so nice to be able to visit with her and my other cousin. I don't get to see them often and we were really close as kids. Also, my little M was really good. She just requires a lot of energy and I'm exhausted. She was so sweet in her party dress and really was a trooper all weekend. She did finally take a nap on the way home today, which was great. Traffic was a bear though.

I can't remember how much of my brother's life story I've talked about so I'll be brief. My oldest brother is married and has two boys, twins. They are seven. Anyway, three times D has ended up in jail or rehab for a serious drug problem. She recently got out, again, and is home with her family. My brother made this decision and I want very badly to support him. I have this feeling though that the problem will happen again. What then? What about the boys? They have been through so much and all I, or anyone in the family wants, is for this to be OK. Trust has been lost and is very hard to gain back. I saw them today in church, which is a good start, but I just don't know what to say to her. Do I just ignore the problem? Do I talk to her like it never happened and move on? Do I pull her aside and tell her what I really think? I want to make sure that kids don't hear me, but I also don't want my brother to be mad at me. It's a weird situation.

I guess that's it for now.

LOL,
CDR

It's been awhile

Sorry for the delay in writing. It has been very busy here. I'll try to keep it brief, the two people who read this have lives.

My beautiful little girl has hit the terrible twos and she is almost three. She really has a temper. (I don't where she gets it.) She has been fighting us mostly at bedtime and tonight really pulled a bad one. She tore up a library book, Angelina Ballerina. A library book!!! She did this just because and she knows better. Not a good move for her. She ended up falling asleep from crying. I hate that more than anything. I cannot express in enough words my extreme love for her, but this is hard. Harder than anything ever. R and I are just trying to be consistant which, I'm told, is the best thing to be. Other than the fits she has, she is so awesome. She is in a big girl bed and later this summer she will be potty trained, even if it kills me. She finally has hair and let me braid it today. That's right, I could braid it. One year ago, I couldn't get a velcro barrett to stay in, now braids, yeah!!

School is out for the summer which is so good. I'm going to start my practicum on Monday at the LISD media center. I'm really looking forward to it. For those two people who don't know what my Master's will be in, it's library and information science with a focus on school media. About a month ago, we were informed that our district is elimiating our only certified SLMS. She will be going to teach 7th grade language arts. She will be great at it, but that's not the point. I have gone through all of the necessary channels and am on the June school board agenda. I simply plan to inform the school board of what this decision will mean and how it will impact the students. I have to be very careful because of my current position and I will. I simply want them to have the accurate information about this and that's all I plan on doing. What they do with that information is up to them. At least they will have the accurate information.

That leads me to grad. school. I am doing very well with classes. It's just very busy. I'm taking a children's lit. class, grades 4-8 right now and it's very fun to read these books. The practicum is also a part of this summer's credits. I will then be in another lit. class, followed by a tech. class, and then research. Done my Christmas is my new mantra.

Finally, but definitely not least, my lovable R. He is the most supportive husband. I have class two night a week, plus all of the other stuff and he doesn't say one negative word. I am not so cooperative sometimes and he doesn't flinch. I only hope other girls get one that him. Don't get me wrong, he still does the weirdest things and doesn't get some very common sense things, but he makes up for it in other ways.

I'll try not to be gone for so long this time.

LOL,
CDR

News...

hah, got ya. We are officially leasing a new car. Didn't think that was coming, huh? Anyway, my Buick's lease was coming to an end and we were over many, many miles. We decided that since the gas price is OUTRAGEOUS, we would get a smaller, safe car. We went with the Ford Focus. It really is safe, smaller, and gets great gas mileage. I loved being able to fill it up with $30.

Tomorrow is our 12th anniversary. I can't believe it. It goes so fast. M found a present under the bed this morning which is apparently for me. She thought it was Christmas and wanted me to open it. I told her to play hide and seek with it until tomorrow and this has worked. I feel bad though because I didn't get R a present, just a card. I thought we were trying to save some bucks and he cheated. Gotta love him!! He may have his faults, but he does remember dates and such.

Only three more weeks until SCHOOL'S OUT FOR SUMMER! Of course then I will be working at the ISD library for my practicum. That's great though. I'm really looking forward to it and a change in the day's routines.

I hope all is well with everyone out there. D, I saw your twin today at the Kid's Day think downtown. It was really wierd and I almost went up and talked to her.

LOL,
CDR

Whew!

Sorry, it's been so long. I figure this is more therapy for me than for the two people who read this.

Life is pretty busy. I am taking five credits from now until the end of June, working full time until June 8, trying to find time to clean our house, grading, reading, grading, reading, etc. The good news is that I will have my Master's by Christmas and then my focus will totally be on R and sweet little M.

Today was a very weird day. I was literally screamed at by a parent and I actually hung up. This isn't the first time I have been screamed at by said parent and I wasn't going to let it happen again. Then, after feeling like dirt, a former student came in and told myself and another teacher that she just graduated with her Associate's in Art and would be going on to an art school for further study. She came in to say that she really learned from us and was even crying. I was so happy to see her. I hadn't seen her in years and knew that the last time I saw her, she was very sad for a whole bunch of reasons. She is a success story without a doubt and she made my day.

For several weeks and months, R and I have been trying to figure out what to do with our current lease vehicle. It's due back next month and we are over by 7,000 miles, ouch, I know. The guy at the dealership really wasn't willing to understand what we could afford, so we decided to go with something smaller and more economically fitting. We have gone from a Buick Rendevous to a Ford Focus hatchback. Quite a switch, right? We needed to have a safe, good MPG, less expensive vehicle and it's really cute. Now, we have to figure out how we're going to pay for the miles over. Things always work out. I'm trying to be a more positive person. It helps my stress level and I'm not nagging R nearly as much. It works for me.

A HUGE congrats goes out to D and family at Family4Peace. New baby is just beautiful and D, you look amazing for having just given birth.

LOL,
CDR

SLMS and stuff

Things have settled down a bit at work, but everyone is pretty much down in the dumps due to the changes that will be happening. I met with my boss and explained how things were not good and were not being done for the betterment of the students. He was not very supportive and later came to me to cover his tracks. I made an appointment to meet with the super**intendent next week. I am taking a friend with me so as to have a witness and some support even though I don't think he'll support me fully. They really want me to just let it go, but I can't. I can't explain how important having a certified school*media*specialist really is without going into great detail so just trust me on this one. We'll see what next week brings.

On the home front, the basement is FINISHED. Super hooray!!! It looks great and so far no cat accidents. If he makes one mess, it's bye, bye kitty. M is doing great. R is doing much better after the sinus infection in his eyes. That was so gross!!!

I am offically registered for my last class next fall. I am super busy, but it will be worth it in eight months when I will be totally done. To my friend with the Beagle, have fun at graduation. I hear over 2000 graduates are walking. It's going to be quite the day.

That's all for now.

LOL
CDR

OMG!

It has been a crazy couple of weeks. We just got M better then I got a horrible sinus infection, then R had what we thought was pink eye, but was really a sinus infection in his eyes. That's right, yuck and double yuck.

It's been a crazy week at work as well. We found out on Tuesday that our one and only certified school library media specialist's position is being eliminated next year. She is being put back in the classroom full time. I am outraged to say the least over this for a multitude of reasons. First of all I know the negative impact this is going to have on student achievement because I'm studying this for my degree. Secondly, the administration is handling it very poorly and I mean POORLY. Third, other staff members have a very noncaring attitude about it. Fourth, and most importantly, my mentor/role model/friend is leaving and the administration is very cold about it. I have decided that I need to fight for this in the most professional way that I can. I went to the principal and spoke with him regarding the situation and didn't get much support. In fact, he basically told me that I needed to be careful with my words, he didn't want to have to file paperwork for insubordination. What? I can't speak my mind for the betterment of students? Hello, isn't that my job? Isn't that why we teach? I'm just going through the channels that I'm supposed to go through to get myself on the school board agenda for May and I'm either warned or threatened about insubordination. I'm not going against my boss and doing something I shouldn't or not doing something I should. I'm doing what is right for the students. Without a certified school library media specialist, there will not be any competent work going on in the library. We will have aids in each building and that's it. I know other districts do this and money is tight. But is it really that bad that instead of promoting our academics, we diminish them by lessening the worth of the library? We should be adding on to the library and making it a feature of our school, not shutting the doors.

There are people out there who believe that they can get anything they want from the Internet. I'm person who does use the Internet often. However, did you know that only 10% of the world's information is online? Where else might someone get this information you ask? That's right, the LIBRARY!!! Aids can't order books, weed collections, do book talks, budget items, run technology systems, reference materials for teachers, trouble shoot other various needs of students and staff, etc. Aids can check in and out books and some other basic things. I feel great passion in fighting for this and I was shut down and dismissed. I'm not totally surprised by what happened, but it felt like I couldn't be trusted. My principal is worried that I will say something to anger the super. or the board. Granted, in the past there was one incident in which I felt great passion about something and called someone an a**hole during a staff meeting. However, that was years ago, I was provoked, and I was not the only one thinking it. I just happened to be the one stupid enough to say it. Why is it that everyone remembers the one time I messed up? I've been a good teacher for seven years for this district and now I feel I should move on. The only light at the end of the tunnel is that we have just hired a new superintendent and I figure he can't be nearly as bad as what we have now. Can it?

If any one out there knows where in the NCLB or AYP or Education Yes! documentation where it states schools won't be accredited without an SLMS, please let me know. I am getting myself ready to present to the board and I need it to be as professional as possible with tons of research to back me up.

That's all for now. Prayers out to Virginia Tech and congrats to Sorting the Baby Stuff.
CDR

Spring Break is already over...

and it's not fair. I had planned on going into the library to get some hours during break, but that didn't happen. Poor little M had strep throat with a very high temp. all week. She is finally better and now it's time to go back to work. I didn't mind staying home and I know I'll get the hours in later. I'm just glad she was sick when I was home. No one had to miss work that way. Of course now, I don't feel well and have a sinus headache from H***. Before the sickness started, we were able to get some seriously cute pictures taken. They are for Easter, but also because she's 2 1/2. I can't believe she's so old already. When I get the pictures from the website eventually, I'll post here. For some reason I can't get her pictures online as promised. I'm working on that though.

Guess what? The basement is only two steps away from completion. We need to clean so the carpet can go down, yeah. Now, we have to get the naughty cat to use the litterbox. I punished him today just like I did when he was a kitten. We'll see if it works. I bleached the floor and he still crapped in the middle. We put him out, he comes in and craps in the middle. Fortunately, R is not threatening to shoot them right now.

That's all here. It's back to work I go.
CDR

My life as of today

Our new computer is beautiful, but the disc drive doesn't open. Therefore, R is currently in A2 taking it back to get this fixed or replaced. We spent a lot of money on a new computer and it better work well, not jacked up.

Things are still pretty busy. I have a project due every Saturday from now until the end of April, plus the class I'm not officially in until May, has stuff to work on. It's my practicum and if I don't get hours now, I'll never finish. When the state decided in its infinite wisdom that we need 90 hours of experience and it CAN'T be where we work, they were really thinking. Yeah, with their heads up their butts. How in the world can anyone complete 90 hours outside of their school in another school during the off hours? Let me say that I have to be very creative. I can't and won't use sick days; those are earmarked for, yep, illness. Plus, if I do use them, I'll get caught not being sick and they would dock my pay just to be mean. They really are that mean, just ask D and G about that one. School's are very infrequently in session in the summer which leaves me with piddly little one hour stints after school twice a week. I'm going into the library during spring break next week just to get some hours and to work on my weeding project. What was I thinking with that one? It sounded easy, but there is a lot of work to do. Then I found out last week that our media specialist is possibly going to be in the classroom part time next year. She is the districts only certified media specialist and they want her to only be there part time with aids in each building. THAT'S INSANE! She is spread too thin now. There may be people who don't think so, but they have NO CLUE what she does in her job or for the district. She is irreplacable and they are treating her like this. Plus, when she wants to retire in about five years and I'm supposed to take over, there won't be anything to take over. What a mess!! There were about 20 teachers in our district who received letters concerning next year. That's 20% of our staff. Fortunately, I'm not one of them, but who knows what might happen.

M has been doing some business on the potty. It's not regular yet, but we're getting there. She is so funny and has the most beautiful curly hair. She doesn't get that from me. I was told by a hairdresser that I had the straightest hair she'd ever seen.

The cat thing is getting better. We bought collars and tags for the cats and today, the big Franklin spent the entire day outside. He came back unharmed. R couldn't catch Kazzy to put her out, but the day will come. Funny thing is, Franklin spent the entire day outside, came in and crapped on the basement floor. So much for that plan. I thought it was funny and so did R. We'll see how things progress from here.

That's what is happening here.

LOL,
CDR

Cats and Grad. School

We have two cats, one in 10 and the other is 2. Both cats like to poop on the floor. Now, I know that some of you would just get rid of the cats, but I can't do that. They only poop next to the litter box, it's not all over. R had a HUGE fit the other day because I refuse to kill the cats. He even went to the extreme of emailing close friends and family how angry he was with me. If you are one of those people, I profusing apologize. We have been married for 12 years and he can't figure out how to have a conversation with me, his wife. Yesterday at this time, I seriously wanted to kick his sorry booty out of my life for acting like an immature 10 year old with no smarts. Today, I don't feel that way, but I confronted him about the email. He didn't even tell me about it to begin with. One friend responded and I forever grateful to D for doing so. I may never have known how idiotic he was being. Instead of talking with me, he chose to vent his frustrations about me to friends and my mom and my brother. Let's gain some perspective shall we. HE'S PISSED ABOUT A CATS. There are about one million other things he could/should be mad at me about and he's pissed about the cats. I think I'm in total shock that he would even do such a thing. My sweet, loving, compassionate husband has turned into a heartless moron. And again, IT'S ABOUT THE CATS.

Anyway, grad. school is super busy. I'm essentially taking 8 credits, working full time, and trying to pull out a clean house and clothes every once in awhile. Reason to be mad number 1. I'm also working late and R has been picking up M from daycare. He's missing work, which means losing money. (He is paid hourly.) Reason to be mad number 2. I'm so behind in grading that I've enlisted R's help with the easy stuff. This is time consuming for us both. Reason to be mad number 3. I think I've made my point with that. My hope is to be finished with grad. school by Christmas. Problem is, the one class I need is full, shocker there.

I may not get back to writing soon. I hope all is well out there with everyone.

LOL,
CDR

Random thoughts

Whew, what a week. I have been playing a game of catch-up since we got home. I have TONS of grading still to do, but had to put that off for the night to focus on the mid-term that is due tomorrow. I finally got that done, but wait, oh, yeah, I may want to look over the chapters that I haven't read yet. I'm not usually so behind with stuff and it's driving me crazy.

Kids are also driving me nuts. Why don't they care? Thoughts? Today I gave them the effort speech, again. I asked them if they wanted to make money when they're older and of course all of their hands went up. I told them it wouldn't happen at the rate they were going, because they'll get fired for not doing their work. We'll see how things pick up next week.

R and M are doing well. M won't take a bath because she had an accident last week and continues to yell at bath time, "I no take a bath" and "I no poop in the bathtub." We didn't yell at her when the accident occurred, I swear. I truly think she is embarrassed. How does she know to be embarrassed? She's only two. Besides that, gas around her is normal and we laugh at it.

The basement project is coming along at a snail's pace. R's parents hired a guy to put in the drop-down ceiling, which is cool. I just want it done. R's dad told me it should be done by the end of the month. We'll see what happens there. I'm not holding my breath. July will be one year since we started. It has totally taken on a life of its own.

LOL,
CDR

My Grandpa

Grandpa decided on February 28, his 91st birthday, to go to Heaven. It's been a hard time, expecially for my dad. We spent the last few days there for the visitation and funeral. It is not typical for there to be a burial in winter, but my brother is the sexton at the cemetary and Grandpa was buried with full committal services. It was actually quite serene and beautiful. Friday's weather was horrible, windy and snowy. On Saturday, the sun was up and it was very majestic. It's like he was calling the shots from above. It's very strange to know that his house is going to be empty. I read a selection from a Hospice worker called The Dash. It talked about how on the tombstone a person's date of birth and date of death are listed and are separated with a dash. It's not the dates that are the important stuff, it's the dash, all that happened in the middle. I really believe that Grandpa led a very full life and was able to choose when he would go. He decided on his own after a month of being sick that it was time. It stinks that he's gone and he'll be missed more than he knows, but I know that it was his time. He will always be in my heart and I will NEVER forget his laugh and smile. He was truly a great person.

Waiting game

It has been a long week and next week will be even longer. I returned home last weekend to see Grandpa after his surgery, all was well. Now he has multiple things wrong and it doesn't look good. I dread the sound of my phone ringing. My mom calls with worse news each time. I hate the waiting. I keep praying, but know that things are not good.

I am in a horrible mood and can't be calmed down. R is doing his best not to piss me off, but M doesn't understand that mommy is not good. She doesn't mean to act like a two year old in church, she's two, duh, that's how it will be. I should expect her to act out and whine when church goes over. She was super for the hour, but when it goes over one hour, she's done. She didn't throw a fit, but she screamed a little. What I don't get is when the heads crank around like owls to see who made the noise. Our pastor could care less, he's used to it, but the stares from the others just does me in. Why do people stare? I try super hard to never look that direction because I know how it feels. I just think it's rude.

M is taking the longest nap ever today, almost four hours. She must really not nap well during the week at daycare. She does take a nap, but it's not home.

I have a ton of papers to grade. I'm frustrated there too. Six out of 30 turned in their work on Friday in one class. They wonder why the don't pass. Gee, let me think. No work, no grade. I spelled out effort and told them to look it up in the dictionary. I should make that an assignment, oh wait, they won't do that either. I want them to be successful and they totally don't try. They want to just pass and expect me to give them the D-. I don't give grades, they are earned. I can't grade what I don't get. My favorite thing is that they keep asking for extra credit. They don't do the assignments, are they seriously going to do extra work? I highly doubt it.

Anyway, I guess I will grade some more papers while M takes her nap and I wait for the inevitable phone call from Mom.

CDR

Home again

I went home again for less than 24hrs. to check on Grandpa. He decided that enough was enough and to have the surgery. He had a very serious bowel obstruction and his gall bladder was removed. They should have done this three weeks ago, but he was a poor surgical candidate due to the fact that he's 90. He did super well and is so far doing really well. The biggest concern were his lungs, but he's breathing on his own now, no ventilator. Let's all keep our fingers crossed. The big man upstairs really has a lot to do with this one.

R is home from his tractor pull excitement. My brothers sure made him smell bad. Boys are gross. It's like they are all still living at home and want to stink each other out. Poor R didn't have a chance in that arena. He had a good time though. The first thing he said to me when he walked in the door was "I need a shower and everything needs to be washed, coat too."

LOL
CDR

Snow days are here again...

tra, la, la, la, la!!! I just LOVE snow days. Knowing the night before is even the best of all. I know already that I don't have to wake up at 5:30. I know right now that I can stay out of the foot of snow that we are expecting. For anyone who lives elsewhere, they should be jealous. They say that kids love snow days, but it's the teachers who love them most.

In other news, M had a fever last night and all day today, AGAIN. I hate germs. Doesn't the cold kill them off? Then of all things, the ear thermometer needed new batteries. It has needed new batteries for quite some time, but it was still working. Plus, I couldn't get it open to even check to see what kind of batteries it needed. Finally, after R used his jack-knife to pry off the back, we located two large watch-type batteries. What the heck is up with that? Do you think I have any replacement batteries of that kind in my house? I have every other type. You name it and I've got it, but not the 2032 huge watch battery. I know shocking. So off I went to CVS to buy some batteries that were $6. Two, teeny, tiny little discs for $6 plus tax. They get us in every direction. I almost bought the new thermometer that took AAA batteries because I know I'll always have them on hand, but it has taken me 2 1/2 years to train R how to use the one we have. I'm not doing that again.

Super happy thoughts to everyone.
CDR

Caught up...

... for the moment anyway. Being gone is tough. I couldn't believe the amount of grading I still had to do. Plus the grad. work that had to get done. I was only gone for three days to see my family and whew, it has taken me until today to feel like I am above water. I finally have clean underwear and the house is decently clean. The make-up work is done and the tests are graded. Thank goodness for that because grades are due tomorrow.

Not much else happening here. I just seem to keep plugging along. A funny thing though is coming up. R is going with my brothers and Dad to Kentucky next weekend for a....

TRACTOR show. That's right, my city guy with my farm family at the auto show of tractors in Kentucky. Laughing yet? I was, but he really wants to get away and it looks like he doesn't care where. I think it's great that he gets along with my brothers and Dad and they all feel comfortable going to this thing. However, the last time my brothers and Dad took R anywhere, they brought him back drunk and unable to undress. They had also taken him to several strip clubs and taught him how to fold dollars for the girls on stage. Super fun. I told him I didn't care if he went to see the girls, but no wasting money.

I guess that's all that is going on here. We're good and Grandpa is doing better. He will be in the hospital a bit longer and then on to the Medical Care Facility for rehab. He really does have a positive attitude which wasn't the case just over a week ago. I truly believe that he saw all of us grandkids and great-grandkids and decided there was life to live. I just pray for him each night and somehow I am at peace with this.

Take care,
CDR

All's well, for the most part

My heart is super or so they believe. Good news there. The stress test was easy and they pretty much ruled out anything wrong with my heart. I just have anxiety or acid reflux, yeah.

This weekend I decided that I really needed to see my grandpa because Mom and Dad really seemed worried. M and I made the trip up on Friday and went straight to the hospital. This was a four hour drive. M only slept about 45 minutes, but was really good. She really is good in the car. Grandpa was not doing so well and that really made me upset. He even commented that he wouldn't be going home. He could have meant for the day with me, but he still made the comment and I lost it, not in front of him though, thank goodness. M and I then went back to Mom and Dad's to get some supper and ran into brother B. (I have three brothers so lettering them seems appropriate.) He commented that he hadn't gone to see Grandpa and I said he really should. He left my nephew with me and went to see Grandpa. Now, Grandpa seemed to be in better spirits which made us all feel better.

Saturday, my niece A and nephew K came over to be with M so I could ride with Mom and Dad to the hospital. The weather was wicked in Western Michigan this weekend and I'm glad I didn't have to take M out in the fridgid weather. We decided to take my dad's pickup with 4-wheel drive because of the roads. Now picture this. My mom and I are short. Mom has had two knee replacements. Neither one of us can easily get into the truck. We had to take a stool with us. My dad referred to it as the Polish running board. It was quite the site. When we got to the hospital my aunts and uncles were already there and said that Grandpa had made some progress in the morning regarding the gas and bm issue that he was having. This was good news. Brother A had also been there that morning when the initial bm happened and Grandpa asked him to check it out. Brother A called for a nurse. Can you believe we are at the age that we are asked to take care of that business? Whew!!! It was good news though. After checking in with Grandpa, we decided to go out for some lunch. I was the youngest in the crowd with the seniors. I was the only one who couldn't get the senior price for lunch. It was a hoot. I told them I would have to write in my blog about them and there was some uncertainty about a: what a blog was? and b: why would someone do one? This was a very fun lunch. Uncle N and Aunt M, Uncle G and Aunt J, and my parents with me for lunch. It was a learning experience.

Sunday brought some more news that Grandpa had some more movements but there is still blockage in the small intestine and they may need to get that out. He initially went in to the hospital to have his gall bladder out, but now this has happened. He is still having trouble breathing, but that could be partially caused from the pressure on his diaphram (sp) from the blocked intestine. They are running more tests and we'll know more later. Brother C came up to see Grandpa and I thought was a good idea too.

M and I drove home yesterday in some seriously bad weather, but we wanted to get home. She missed her daddy. It took us about 5 hours to get home, which really wasn't bad considering the roads. It's -4 outside right now and I'm going to work on grading tests and catching up on homework. I love days off from school.

Oh, and we made sure to bring back hamburger from my parents freezer. No more bad meatloaf.

LOL
CDR

Anxiety update

I went to the regular doctor today for the ER follow up. He is scheduling me for an echo-cardio gram and stress test. This sounds like fun. I'm 32 and am going through this. What the heck? I'm happy that he wants to rule out a problem with my heart, but now I have to do the tests. He thinks it could be three things: anxiety, heart, or acid relux. Acid Relux? I have NEVER had any signs of this, not even when I was pregnant. I took some Xanax and am feeling pretty good right now. R is also feeling a bit guilty about his hissy fit childish behavior because of my anxiety. It could really all be for the best on that front.

However, to add to my anxiety, my mom called with very distressing news that my grandpa is not well. He has pancreatitis (sp) which is caused by the gall stones that he has. They need to remove his gall bladder. This is normally no big whoop, but HE'S ALMOST 91 WITH A BAD HEART AND FLUID IN HIS LUNGS! He could die from the anasthetic or the gall stones or the heart trouble or the lung problems. Chances are not looking good and he's in a lot of pain. I'm also four hours away. I didn't tell Mom what was wrong with me because she has enough on her plate. I didn't plan on telling anyone until I knew what was wrong either. No need to worry the family ahead of schedule. I just need hugs. M gave me tons yesterday and today. I just love that little girl to pieces.

More when I know it.
CDR

Anxiety

For the past three nights I have been having chest pains. I tried very hard not to tell R because he freaks out, but finally last night I told him. He freaked and made me go to the ER. This was a good idea, but I had to go alone because he needed to stay home with M. I arrived at 1:00amish and was hooked up to the heart moniter and they ran the EKG. They did blood work, gave me an IV, and said I would have to stay for 4-5 hours to be monitored. My heart rate was a tad high and my blood presure was high for me. They could see no signs of anything wrong with my heart, but I had to wait it out. I called R and told him that I would be there for awhile and he said that the moon was shining and it looked like a cross. This was also a bit freaky. I'm not sure if he was just tired or what, but he even tried to take pictures.

I learned later in the night that my bloodwork was normal, my EKG was good, and the chest x-rays showed no signs of anything. My heartrate and blood presure were also back to normal. This is funny because I was still having and am still having pain in my chest. They ran more bloodwork at 5:30am and that all came back clear. Therefore, no heart problems, but they say I had an anxiety attack. They perscribed some Xanax and sent me home.

Anxiety attack? Doesn't everyone have anxiety? Why now? I'm still a bit worried and I think the major cause of this is the fact that R keeps acting like he's twelve and stupid. He had a huge hissy fit yesterday about our cats and went nuts. I mean really nuts. He didn't want M to see that he was mad and I was at class so he bit his finger. He drew blood. What has happened to the calm, cool headed man that I married? I think I've turned him into a raving loon. I don't know what to do anymore. Are we just in a rut? We spent so much of our marriage trying to have a baby that maybe we just don't have anything else to work for. We don't really fight, we just don't talk or anything anymore. Maybe I'm not anxious, maybe I'm depressed. We'll see how the Xanex works and go from there.

Sorry to vent, I can't really just open up about this right now. I just needed to get it off my chest, literally.

CDR

Worst dinner ever, EVER!

Those of you who know me, know that I hate to cook. I mean absolutely hate to cook. I love to bake and I love to cook for many people, but I HATE making supper. It is the epitome of disasters in our house. If I see one more hot dog, I may lose my mind. Anyway, on the way home from work I called R and asked what he wanted for supper. We have this conversation each and every day and we both dread it like the plague. He suggested we have meatloaf. We all like meatloat and it's an easy dish. Now, don't get me wrong I CAN cook, I just hate it. There are some things that I can do really well, meatloaf is one of them. Well, we always get free beef from my parents and it just so happens that we ran out of burger. Last weekend, I bought some. I have never bought beef of any kind at the store. I take a cooler to my parents and load up. It's frozen and voila instant beef for us. M and I got home and saw that R had already gotten out the dish for the meatloaf. In other words, he knew this morning what he wanted for supper. I got out the store burger and saw that it said to use by today. Cool, we're in luck, it's still good. I didn't even know it was dated. I mixed up the meatloaf with M's help and it went in the oven. I kept checking it out to see its progress and it really didn't look good. I don't even know where to begin on it's look, yuck is the best I can do. Now to top it off, when R went to the store last week, he bought succatash and tonight he suggested we have that with the meatloaf. Yes, that's right succatash. Do you even know what that is? I didn't. I didn't have a clue that this was even a thought to have. I warmed it up and put it out. I cut the meatloaf and put it on the table. R, being the hungriest person in the universe, dug in. I told him it looked different and not to give M any until we had some to see if it was OK. His words, "it tastes different." I said in what way and he just kept saying "different" and he stuffed his face. I took some and tried it and just about threw up. It was rancid and awful. "Different" did not justify the horribly rotten taste of the "meatloaf." To top it off of course was the succatash that went with it. After one bite that didn't go down well, I asked the troops, "who wants hot dogs?" An overwhelming, "MEEEEEE" from both R and M in unison and very high pitched, very cute. We were all laughing so hard about the absolute worst meal. We haven't laughed together like that in a while. M was so funny and laughing with us. We had to settle for hotdogs and carrots. Mostly M ate pear applesauce, her new favorite, and yogurt covered raisins.

From now on we stick to dad's beef and veggies we like. Tomorrow, we are getting take out of some sort. I don't even care what really as long as it's good and I didn't have to cook it.

After the horrible supper, I made chocolate chip cookies, yummy. I hope this makes up for it.

On another note, welcome back to D and G who are home from Vietnam with their daughter.

LOL
CDR

Melodrama of a day

Well, exams are over, graded, and sent. There was an ice storm last night, but that didn't effect me really. We had an inservice today and the kids have the day off for Martin Luther King day. However, I don't think they really are doing any learning/celebrating for this occasion.

It has been a frustrating day for me though. I can't figure out why R can't take M's temperature. It's an ear thermometer, yet he can't seem to do it. She had a temp. yesterday and this morning. Not a high one, but we kept her home just in case. Our thing is to not be the ones who spread the disease at daycare. Anyway, I went to the inservice, did what had to get done and came home to relieve R so he could go to work. I'm really fed up with him not getting how hard it is for me to miss work. He truly doesn't understand why I couldn't miss today, the day before a new semester. After all, there weren't any students there, it should be easy, right? He needs to wear my shoes for one week and see just how much work is involved in my profession. I believe I've mentioned this before so I won't go there again. He also thinks that I can miss tomorrow to stay home if M is still not 100%. It's the first day of the semester, any takers on that issue? DUH!!! I don't care if he has jury duty, which he does. I think he thinks that I don't want to stay home, but he is TOTALLY missing the point. I would LOVE to stay home, it's just way easier for him to miss work. He can call in and it's done. That's it, no more to do. We all know what every teacher has to do to miss and it is NOT easy. I heard today that a parent at school said teachers shouldn't have kids because teachers then miss work for sick little ones. WHAT? What century is this?

There are other things going on at work that are not huge problems, but are none the less annoyances. We all must face these little things in our work, but they can really be aggravating. I must be in a bad mood today, because I found myself using language that I promised myself I wouldn't use any more. Why do I let myself get so bothered by things that are out of my control? Or for that matter that are in my control but not worth getting so torked up about? Sometimes I really hate that part of me. I get so overworked about something and then am so mad at myself later for how I handled it. I'm really turning into someone I don't want to be in that arena. I don't want to be the overhyped physcopath that people avoid, but there are some days when I feel myself going there. Any advise there?

CDR

Exam time

It's that time of the semester for my students, exams. Why is it that they don't seem to care? I've been pondering some thoughts with my collegues and we've decided that they just don't have any motivation to do well. No matter what we say or do, they don't seem to care. One co-worker stated that she heard a speaker say that we now live in an "it's good enough" society. I have been thinking about that a lot lately and truly believe it. My students will only do what they must just to pass, not what they can to achieve a higher score. It amazes me how many students won't turn in a large piece, half, of the exam, the essay. It bothers me and I tell them how easy it can be and that their grade is depending on this. Still, no essay. I know that I can't make the writing process any easier for them and yet nothing. It's no one kid in particular and I know that this is true across the board in schools everywhere. Why do our young adults feel that it's OK to be just average? As a policy, I do not accept late work for credit. I never have and I don't plan to. However, I get these kids every day asking me to take late work. It's making me wonder if I am speaking in a mute tone that their ipod ears can't hear. What is confusing? NO LATE WORK FOR CREDIT! They can really be so irresponsible and it drives me crazy. If I don't do my job on time, I could potentially lose my job. If they can't meet a small deadline in my class, how will they succeed in the real world? Aren't we, as educators, supposed to prepare them for reality? There can be some outsiders that don't understand this. How I say? Do they not have deadlines to meet in their professions and homes? That's life. Don't pay the bills on time and just see what happens. No power, phone, gas, heat, cable, internet, and on and on and on. They would really be suffering if they couldn't download their songs and videos onto their ipods.

I have a theory regarding all of this, but we'll save that for another time or an in person discussion. Little pitchers have big ears, right?

Whew, I feel better getting that off my chest. I mean no offense to anyone, but I really believe that there are too many people who believe that teachers have it easy. I would like for them to put on my shoes for one week and just see how "easy" we have it. I'm not saying that there aren't harder jobs, but people don't understand the amount of time we put in and how much we value what happens to our future leaders. Plus all of the requirements that are put on us outside of the schools we work for. There aren't many professions like ours where continued education is required not just recommended. It's constantly changing and ongoing.

Anyway, I could go on forever, but I won't. I want to express some happy thoughts to my friends D and G who have their little girl. She is beautiful and we can't wait to meet her.

LOL
CDR

Happy New Year!

I hope everyone enjoyed ringing in the new year. We stayed at a Holiday Inn so M could go swimming and it was quite fun. She didn't sleep well in the hotel room though. We all ended up going to bed at 8:00 so she would sleep. This was fine with us as we were very tired from the traveling that we had been doing across state. We watched the fire works in Paris and London and said happy new year before we went to bed. Then the neighbors yelled at midnight so it was celebrated. We then got an early start for home and it was good to get here. We enjoyed our last days off and are now ready to face the world tomorrow.

I would like to wish safe travels to my friends D and G who are going to Vietnam to pick up their daughter. I know she will love them as much as they love her.

Happy New Year!
CDR