Whew, what a week!

Getting back into the swing of things can be tough. I only spent two days at my desk to work, the rest of the time, I was teaching in various locations and at a conference. Plus, this week was book fair week and that was crazy. Fortunately my aid ran the whole thing and sold over $8000 in product to give us $4600 in "free" books. Whoo, Hooo!!!

I was at this conference that was mind numbing and I hear my name. My name is not the most common so I figured whoever it was must be calling me. I turn around and there stands a friend from college, Kim Schalk. She says hi to everyone and tells me she is doing great. I also ran into old friends from my old school who were there having their brains bored to tears as well. I was able to catch up on some gossip. If it hadn't been for seeing Kim and the gossip, it would have been the longest day.

In one week, you will all (I know it's about five people out there) be able to congratulate me. I will officially be done with my Master's Degree. That paper that I procrastinated on is finished and I must say, it's not bad at all. I presented it last night and thought that went very well. Pay raise, here I come. No more classes, no more books... at least until my cert. is up again.

The family is doing very well and things seem to be getting back to normal. Now we just have to figure out how to get our Christmas decorations up.

LOL,
CDR

They're out!

What a morning! We arrived at the hospital at 6:45 as directed and were taken into preop. Mallory did great with the whole not eating or drinking thing. It's like she knew something was up last night and didn't even ask about food or drink. So we are sitting there waiting for the doctors to get everything ready and we hear this loud crash, like a person has fallen from their hospital bed onto the floor. Nope, it wasn't the patient next to us, but her finance who hit the dirt and hard. They had to take him to the ER while she went in for surgery.

Anyway, back to us. They took Mallory into surgery at 7:30 as scheduled and said it would be about an hour. At 8:30 the doctor came out and said all went well. We waited about 10 more minutes and then we were able to go see her. She wasn't even crying, such a big girl. I grabbed her up and rocked her for about an hour while she slept. Then the ugly started, fortunately it wasn't too ugly. We had a bit of vomit, but that was OK and to be expected. She shook it off, had some water, then rested for a bit longer. We were able to get her to eat the Popsicle and then it was time to go. Now another ugly. For those of you who know me, you know that I am a bit squeamish when it comes to needles and blood. Well, Mallory still had to have her IV taken out and of course they want Mommy to put pressure on the hole in her tiny hand. It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't actually seen the needle, but I did and then there was a bit of blood. If I hadn't been sitting, I would have been in the ER with the other guy from earlier. Fortunately, my mom and Rodd were there. Rodd took Mallory and Mom took me. The nurse thought I was a nurse before this happened because I understood what she was talking about. That's because my mom is a nurse and I paid attention. I was so embarrassed. Rodd took Mallory to the car while I sat there like a dork trying to compose myself. The nurse gave me some apple juice and all was better. Also, the longer I stayed there, the more I could hear words that were not good for me to hear, like IV, etc. I'm such a loser and I can't believe that that effected me so much. She's my baby and I should be able to see that stuff. I guess now we know, but Rodd isn't good with that stuff either. My prayers are that we never have to face it again.

Well, we are home and Mallory is really doing great. She is liking the Popsicles and sherbet. It's hard not to give her milk, but it can be gaggy. Tylenol with Codeine is also a nice touch for the pain, hers not mine. I may have a beer though.

Thanks for all of the thoughts, prayers, and well wishes.

LOL,
CDR

Procrastination

I have just one paper left to write and just two more class nights to attend and I will officially have my Master's degree. However, the words for said paper seem to elude me and I cannot focus. It's a research proposal and it just hurts my brain to even try to wrap myself around its concept. I know the material, but developing a science project is not my line of ability. I didn't do them in grade school and I can't fathom why it's so important for me to do one now. I would benefit so much more by having another literature class or kids literature class, but no, I have to be stuck in the most boring, painful class on the planet. I think I may have written about this before, but it's just not fun. I have an amazing GPA so far, if I do say so myself, and I will be happy with a B in this class. I'm ready to take the B at this point and just be done. Now if only the words would flow and I would be done.

Of course I don't have anything else on my mind this weekend, like say surgery on Monday morning or anything. More on that endeavor after its completion.

LOL,
CDR

Now comes the fever, what next?

On Friday, Mallory was acting very sluggish and just not herself. She had a slight temp. so we did the Motrin then Tylenol thing through Saturday. When the temp. hit 103, we decided that enough was enough and since it was Saturday, we ventured to the ER. Why now? She can't have a fever and have surgery so I'm so happy that we took her in. They checked her out and decided that she only has an ear infection and can treat that with the 5 day antibiotic instead of 10 day amoxicillin, which will allow us to keep the surgery date. They were scared that she had strep and then we would really be up a creek without a paddle. The dotcor took one look at her throat and said, "man, those tonsils are huge." Guess the decision to have them out along with the adenoids has been the right one. We are so looking forward to her being well. My mom is coming down to hold our hands during surgery and the first 24 hours or so. Thanks God for moms! Keep us in your thoughts and send your prayers/well wishes.

I was looking over my work budget and I need to let that simmer a bit. I am very close to going over and the super. will not like that. I just get so excited to order new books for the kids. They are so excited to have someone actually order new things. Maybe I'll just wait another month before I spend the remaining balance. I wouldn't want them to think I'm greedy.

LOL,
CDR

The date is set

Monday, November 19, our baby goes in to have the adenoids and tonsils out. This is so scary. Do they give mommies sedatives? I think they should.

More later,
CDR

Halloween

I'm ready for trick or treating, Mom! Daddy and Ladybug.

Mommy and Ladybug.

Adenoids it is!

Daddy took Mallory to the doctor and the doctor said, "no more adenoids jumping in your nose." We haven't scheduled the surgery yet, but I will work on that one tomorrow. I don't know why they only want to take out the adenoids and not the tonsils, but apparently her adenoids are really blocking her airway which is leading to her breathing through her mouth, which could then in turn be making her cough. Of course, she has another stuffy nose/cold right now that we are fighting so the coughing continues and continues, oh yeah, and continues!!!

On the work front, things are good. I really love what I do when I'm allowed to do it. I find that some people are stuck in the "it's always been done that way" frame of mind. I think that the admin. is very supportive, but only when I don't push too hard and I don't want to push too hard because I'm not tenured yet, which is not fun. I have a small confession to make, but it goes no farther. If a certain former employer were in need of a certified SLMS, I would apply and deep down I kind of hope that happens. It's not that I don't like where I'm working, I really do and the people are great. They have really opened up to many of my ideas and they have welcomed me without a doubt. I'm just feeling a bit homesick for my friends. I can't tell you how much I miss Nancy. It's so hard to not talk to her everyday. She's busy and I'm busy and because we aren't in the same building, district, city, it's just hard. There are so many good things about my new place, but the friendships from the old place weigh on me sometimes. Is that crazy? Plus today was especially hectic and I had to be several places at the same time. I did all of the work ones, but I had to miss Mallory's drs app. That was not fair, but the dr. changed the app. and I just couldn't get there. Rodd is giving me feedback from the notes he took, that I made him take, but because I was in the elementary today, I couldn't leave. Rodd did do a good job, but I missed a very important appointment, that hurts.

Anyway, I guess it's just one of those days. When I get a chance I will post some Halloween pics. Mallory was a ladybug, super cute.

LOL,
CDR

Allergies or Tonsilitis?

We took the peanut to see an ENT last week because the coughing is driving us all nuts, plus her behavior has been a little less than desired. The ENT was great and told us that her tonsils are very enlarged and that may be the root cause of lots of things. However, we want to rule out allergies before we cut her open so she is on new allergy meds to see if they work. We will find out more on November 6.

She did have a better week, but the child seems to think that 5:30am is morning time. SHe climbs into bed with us and carries on a conversation. We are trying to sleep. This morning I took her back to bed so we could at least get some more rest. She, however, had other plans and was playing very loudly. R eventually got up to see what she was up to. I was very cranky and decided to stay in bed. 5:30 is way to early for chipper conversation by anyone. I would say that we did have a better week, but I know that this is not going to be over. She is three and testing herself against us. So far I am the stronger one, but R's getting there.

Have a great week,
CDR

Terrible threes or just plain spoiled?

Mallory had the worst fit today and of course it was in church. She was so horrible before we even left to go, but we insisted on going. We get there and all h-e-l-l breaks out. She doesn't want to be left alone in Sunday School, so we stay with her. She won't go up front with her class and sing, so she sits on my lap. She tells me she doesn't want me and I think good, that's good, she'll do this. As soon as I step away, she wants R. I go to her and she just throws this fit. We finally take her and sit in the back. She won't go up and sing. She won't let go of us, but yet she doesn't want us. She pushes and screams. I take her out and to the bathroom because I actully needed to go. She just cries and carries on. She ends up getting spanked which does no good. Isnt' the saying spare the rod, spoil the child? I take her back in to see if she will play with the musical toys the other kids are playing with and she just won't. We sit down and she proceeds to hit me. That's when things really got bad. I just about hit her back and hard. I was so FURIOUS. Of course R sees this from a distance and looses it. He starts yelling at her, she's crying, and yes, hello, we are still in church. We put her down a hallway out of earshot of everyone else and let her get over it, a time out deal. It doesn't get any better. People are walking by wondering what is going on. They try to comfort us by telling us stories of their kids, which really only makes us more upset. R looks like he's going to shoot steam out of his ears.

As soon as she sees us, she just starts screaming again. This is the most spoiled little girl and I'm done with it. She was so horrible!!! We finally left. I got up early to go to Sunday School and Church only to leave early and deal with this monster of a child. I then lost it in the car and was just screaming at her. I have never been so ashamed and embarrassed. What are we doing wrong that she thinks she can do this? Of course, by leaving church, she has won and that just pisses me off even more. We should have left her in Sunday School to see how she would be without us. That is the plan for next week.

Then there's the thought, what if they don't want her back? What if my child is the child teachers don't want in class because she is so horrible? I discipline her at home, but R lets her get away with everything. We talk about this and he fixes things for about 5 minutes and then goes right back to letting her get away with things. She thinks that he is her toy and whenever she wants something she gets it. For example, if little miss wants to watch a movie, he will stop what ever he's watching and let her watch something. If she wants to play a game, he's jumping up to get one out. This is true for most everything that goes on in our house. I am so sick of it and he just won't change. The situation is just getting worse. He's a great dad and there for her always, but she sees that as whatever I want, I just need to ask Daddy. Oh, and if I here her say, I can't one more time, I might wash her mouth out with soap or worse. I'm probably going to end up in trouble for saying these things, but those of you who know me, know I just need to vent.

Here's to a happier week!
CDR

Lack of Motivation

I'm sitting here thinking, I should really start that paper. It's the last paper, the epitome of papers that has to be done. Do I have it started? Nope. This class is my last class towards my Masters and I can't wait to be done. However, I find it very difficult to get motivated for it. I totally wish I had taken this class around the middle of the program and saved a cool literature class for last. I can honestly say that had I taken this class to begin with, I would have thought about dropping out of the program. However, here I am in this class and I dread it. I know the information is important and I'm sure at some point I will need to know how to compile research in the best possible way, I'm just not there right now. I'm hoping my motivation picks up next week at the state's conference for my profession. I can't wait to go and discuss issues with others in my position. It's so great to have the opportunity to network, plus I get to see some classmates from the program that I don't get to see anymore. It is going to be so fun.

On the home front, Mallory is still coughing and coughing. What is with that? I called the doctor today and said she was coughing. The nurse's response, "along with every other child in the office." Therefore, I guess, we just have to let it run its course. It is so painful to hear her cough. You know the cough, the one that sits her up and makes her unable to catch her breath. It scares her. The makers of all cough medicines should be sued by us moms. They are worthless, yet we pay lots of money for them. Plus, we can't just get them any more, thanks to the meth addicts. I was actually carded Saturday trying to buy Triaminic. This made me mad and happy at the same time. You only need to be 18 to buy it. I must have looked young that day.

A few weeks ago, I got together with some very close friends from college. It was so great to see them and they can really brighten up life. I just wish I could see them more often. It's too bad that life gets so busy and we don't go out more often. We should try to establish some sort of scheduled get together every other month or so. Those who can come do and those who can't, that's OK. We just sort of have a calendar of meeting dates and try to get together. Girlfriends are the best therapy and it needs to be done more.

Hope everyone is having a splendid week!

LOL,
CDR

Here we go again!

I don't know if you remember, but last fall about this time, the illness that wouldn't go away started. We had cold, flu (twice), pink eye, etc. We seem to be heading that way again. I'm home today with the Princess who has a horrible cough. Plus she was up all night coughing and R had some weird intestinal thing going on that quite frankly grossed me out. Why are boys so yucky? Anyway, I just had M to the doctor on Wednesday for her 3 year check up and of course all was super duper then. Two days later of course, things are ugly and quite possibly could get worse. I do have to say to my friend Lawmommy, that I also had to hold a cup for the speciman at the doctor's office. M didn't want to do it at all. She kept saying, "no Mommy, I pee in the toilet, not the cup." I finally moved the cup and told her to just go. I then snuck around back and put the cup under her from behind. Her little butt doesn't cover the entire hole and this was the easiest way. It was messy, but I did it. We made sure to wash very, very well upon completion.

Now, back to man yuckies. What is their deal? I know that if I'm sick I try to keep things in one area. Why do they need to share the yuck? I mean, is it really all that hard, not to move through the room, then house sharing all kinds of germs, etc. with the entire family? And then my favorite, roll over and cough in my face. After the first extremely gross episode, he decided the go watch TV. I get that he was up, but why move around and be gross? Of course M was up coughing, R was sick and moving around. Did I get any sleep? NOPE!!! It's like this conspiracy to not let me sleep and I think I may need to sue the makers of Robitussen. That stuff does not work. Plus we tried many other drugs to no avail with the coughing. R's problem had him at the doctor's office where I made him go. He is yucky and needs something. I made him see my doctor. I have confirmed that he showed up and was given an antibiotic. That better do the trick or there will be hell to pay tonight. For those of you who don't share a bed with a man, be thankful this does not happen to you. If you still want/love a man after this grossness, it is truly love. One more time, YUCK!

The thing keeping me going is that tomorrow I get to see some old girlfriends and I can't wait. Maybe I'll leave the yuck maker home.

LOL,
CDR

Birthday Party and Fun

For the three of you who read my blog, I'm sorry that I haven't been posting lately. All is well here, just busy.

We celebrated Mallory's third birthday Sunday. Here's the yummy cake and do I mean yummy!

Her official day was yesterday though. She is so lucky/spoiled. She got a ton of clothes, plus toys, books, movies, and stuffed animals. She ripped through her presents in record time. I can't believe she is three. She was so little when she was born. It just seems so weird to see her now. She is a leader at daycare/preschool. She sits at the big kid table. She is potty trained. She doesn't get a bink anymore. She is such a big girl.




























I am so excited that this weekend, we are getting the chance to see some old friends. I can't wait to see everyone. I feel like I've been out of the loop because I haven't seen them, even though I am a regular blog reader.

Life in fast forward

It's been a busy start to the year and I'm loving it. I have really been able to do so many things and I'm getting to know everyone day by day. I am in two buildings most of the time and the third one, I'm hoping to get to more often. I can't believe it's been almost three weeks since school started. I have been doing so much, it seems like we just got started.

I just love fall and am sorry to say that the heat has come back. I want fall. I love everything about it. The smells, the chill in the air, college football, leaves changing colors, frost in the morning, apple cidar, hay rides, pumpkin patches, crunching leaves, open windows, fresh air, ahhhhhhh! It is all so great and then today it's 80 degrees. The weekend is looking better though and maybe cooler next week. I hope so.

M's 3rd birthday is coming up in two weeks. I can't believe it. She is so funny I asked her what kind of cake she wanted and here is her reply:

"I want a Strawberry Shortcake caaaaake, a chocolate caaaake, a Blue's caaaaake, and a blueberry caaaaake."

All drawn out just like that. Can't you just hear it? That's my child, uh huh. Sweet tooth, watch out! She just cracks me up. I may have to order a marble sheet cake decorated with assorted characters. She also loves Maisy Mouse, Curious George, Clifford, Mickey, Tigger, Pooh, Piglet, etc. I could put renditions of them all on one cake and be the best mom ever. Or I can just get one and she really might not notice the others are missing. Of course, now that's she is three, she is very perceptive. We can no longer spell words, she knows what we are saying. The other day, R said he would take her to the p-a-r-k while I vacuumed (she hates the vacuum) and she said, "I like to go to the park!" Smarty pants!

Sorry for the randomness, the first cold of the year is trying to take over, but I'm putting up a fight.

LOL,
CDR

Overwhelming

There are times when I wonder what I was thinking by making this career change. I am so excited about the job, but there are so many other things that I will be doing and those make me nervous. Today, I was able to meet with the staff for the first time. I think it went well. It's my first year of teaching all over again. I sure hope that they understand that concept and it will take me time to fix the problems.

Anyway, enough about work. I am going to focus on more important matters. M still has a cold. Here we go again with the illnesses. Back to daycare is hard on everyone. She cried yesterday when I dropped her off and then so did I. I know she loves it there, she is just so tired and it is so hard to not let her sleep in. We even put her to bed no later than 7:30 and getting up at 6:45 is hard. Now remember, all summer she was up at 6:30 every day wanting to play, watch TV, not sleep when Mommy does, etc. Now it's the opposite. It's like she's a teenager already.

R's work's AC broke down today so he left early. It is so hot there with all of the machines running. His brother is furious with the heating/cooling company. That's a mess. R's mom had minor surgery on her ear this week. For the most part, she seems to be doing well. I haven't spoken with her, but R saw her today and thought she looked good. She can be a bit downtrodden when it comes to anything medical.

Who out there hates high gas prices? Yep, thought so. What the heck? I hate the fact that just because it's a holiday, they beef up the price. I need gas to get to work, not holiday plans. We are going to my parents for the weekend, but it's only Wednesday and the price is super high, $3.09 here in town. It's too bad we can't bottle "natural gas" ;-) and use that in our cars. My brothers could supply enough to run all of our cars, the tractors, and then some.

Anyway, have a super day/night/week/weekend!!!

LOL,
CDR

Who was that man?

I have been to my new media center/library now for a few days and I am wondering what happened. Who was my predecessor? I am amazed at what I'm finding. Fortunatly, I have had some really amazing help and have been able to weed through the collection. I have filled dumpsters with so much stuff, including books. I know,you're asking how could you? It is essential to weed the collection in order to build the collection. The items discarded were so old they were falling apart, had actual bugs living in them, and some were as old as 1920. These are not materials that students are going to use. I can't figure out how or why these things were on the shelves, but we are making room for the new and improved. I can't wait to get this party started. It is so awesome to work there. People are really excited for change and I'm excited to know what they want and expect. Fun, fun, fun!!!

Some other techy news. I created a WebQuest for my class this summer and I'm going to use it at school to teach the kids some really cool research methods. I FINALLY was able to get it posted online. Here's the site if you want to check it out. I would love to hear what you think and if there are any mistakes that I need to fix. My WebQuest.

M has only been back in daycare for five days and she already has a cold. At least we think it's a cold. She does have allergies, but we never know for sure which it is. We give her both medicines hoping that one will work. Not to be gross, but you moms know this, her snot is clear which tells me she's fine and it's probably allergies. She was so sick last fall because of daycare, I just don't want to go through that again. I know it builds up her immune system, but it's so hard to watch, listen to, etc. Poor little thing.

I guess that is all for now. Teachers out there, have a great first week back to school. Wish me luck and good luck to my friends Things My Beagle Knows and KT in their new jobs too.

LOL,
CDR

Very frustrated

I am taking this online course. It's three weeks and three credits for way less than WSU is offering. Anyway, everything started out dandy. I am always online checking the discussions, etc. I have created a webquest to be posted online as the final assignment for the class. This is not happening. I have spent countless hours trying to post to various hosting sites with no luck. I truly believe that the version of FrontPage that I'm using is the problem. If I have to redo this thing, I cannot explain how utterly angry I will be. Why would the professor not share this knowledge with me? Don't you think that would have been handy? Also, every time I tell him it won't post, he suggests a new host. I may need to drive to Indiana and slap him. If any of my two or so readers know how to post using FrontPage from Office XP, feel free to share your wisdom. My patience is gone, gone, gone!!! Please help my sanity if I have to redo this.

In other frustrations, I went to work in my new MC yesterday and whew, what a mess. I'm so lucky that I had someone there to help me clean and throw away stuff. That's right we threw away stuff. In order to build a collection, it must be weeded. The retired person must have shut down quite some time ago because we found just a mess of things. You would think that the library would be organized, not so much. Another thing that is frustrating is that this particular MC is not really its own room, it's more of the central hallway. This could be good, but it really isn't. Kids pretty much can go where ever after hours and we found a used tampon in the stacks. You read that right, go back and have a look see. Would a used condom have been better or worse? I guess the good news is, it was old. I still have a ton of sorting to do and it will take time to get things the way I want them. I cannot change everything over night.

In other news, my co-workers from my old school met today for brunch with me. It was their idea and it was super nice to see everyone. I am going to miss them more than I can say. They have been my family for seven years. I cry every time I think about it. I know that this change is good and in order to grow, I must take a chance; it's just so hard to leave them. A new guy was hired to replace me and that's hard to know. I've been replaced and with a guy. That's weird.

Only a few more days before the official first day of school. Wish me luck.

LOL,
CDR

Change is good!

So many things have happened in the last week. I am a year older, one class ended and another began, and I went to my new school today. I am so excited to officially be a media specialist.

I knew that I was going into a position that many people don't take seriously and I'm not sure why that is. I am still a teacher. I will still be teaching very important skills to our future social security contributors. I am the district media specialist and that is a BIG deal. It is so important to schools and I get so frustrated when people think I am less of a teacher because of this particular teaching position. I am VERY excited to say that my new place of employment feels that my position is very important and they can't wait to see what I can do. They have given me lots of hats to wear and I glady accept the challenge. I took this position because it is my passion, but I am still nervous about seniority. The hats that I will be wearing will help to secure my position and that is a very good thing. But, whew, I have a mountain to climb.

When the former librarian retired, another teacher wanted his desk and took it. That's fine, but the one I have doesn't have drawers. What kind of a desk doesn't come with drawers? Also, there is no stapler, no tape, no pencil, no scissors, notta! I just thought that was funny. I also discovered that there are these amazing books on a shelf that students can't see. Why might you ask? Apparently the former librarian didn't want kids to steal them so he had them hidden. It's a library, shouldn't they be able to see the new and cool things to check out? I'll be moving them where they belong next week.

Anyway, I am very excited about my new job and the school district. There is so much enthusiasm in the staff already and I have only met a few. I can't wait to meet them all. This year is going to be very busy, just like the very first year of teaching. It will be so worth it!!!

(CB, remind me of this post in February when I get frustrated.)

LOL,
CDR

The change

It's official, I resigned from work today and signed the paperwork at the new school today. It was very odd to resign. I cried a lot when I was delivering my letter. I have been there for seven years and I wouldn't know what I know if I hadn't been there. I take that knowledge with me as I move on and am grateful for that. I will miss my friends so much. It's so strange to go to my classroom and pack up my stuff. I couldn't do it. R is going with me later to help. He'll keep me focused. I debate my decision regularly even though I truly believe I am doing the right thing. When I go to the new school, I am overwhelmed with how nice they are and how willing they are to make this easy for me. They are so welcoming. I can't wait to get started and I know that I am going to love the job. It is what I want to do. I feel like a kid going to school on the first day without any friends. I know I will adjust, but it is so odd to leave my comfort and friends. I'm also worried about the kids. I don't want them to think I left with hard feelings. I will miss them so much. I have adjusted to them and them to me. New kids all over again, yikes. It is bitter sweet this decision that I have made. I can't wait to get started though. I'm just nervous. Once I get my old room cleaned out and can face my new work, it will all be OK. Still sad though for a bit.

By the way, we moved the books back into M's room. She kept getting out of bed and leaving her room to get the books. We felt it would be better for her to just enjoy them.

As you can see, I also decided to change to look of by blog. Sometimes, change is good.

LOL,
CDR

I PASSED

'nough said!!!

Two more days....

to wait for the blessed test results. Why in the world does it take so long? It's simple, scan the score sheet and send me the score. Now I realize that there are potentially thousands of people taking their certification tests on the same day, but really is all that hard to score a multiple choice test. I've done over a hundred in just an hour or two and I don't have a machine to do it. Being in limbo and not knowing exactly where I will be working in one month is really taking its toll on me. I just want to know and get to work. I have things I could be doing for either position and can't because of this test. This test is the end all, be all of crap. I've been in this position before and have lost out and I know I was devastated then. I know that I will be this time as well even if I've been telling myself not to get my hopes up. It will happen and I will be crushed and crying for days again. The first three weeks of waiting weren't as bad as these last few days. It's just overwhelming and unthinkable that we should have to wait for test results for so long. I know people in other professions who take the test at a site online in a structured environment and know when they leave if they passed or failed. Why can't this happen for the teaching profession? Are they so worried that we will cheat? It amazes me the lengths the state has gone to to deter the cheating and the fact that the reason for these deterants is because someone probably cheated. How and why would they cheat? The waiting game is taking over my mind and I don't know how much more I can take. Both schools want and need to know what I'm doing. I have paperwork to fill out to resign and paperwork to fill out for the new school, but I can't do either because I don't know which to do. This brings me to why is each little city/village its own school district? Why not have a county school district? This would be beneficial in so many ways. First, I wouldn't be worrying about changing districts. Second, they would only have to pay one superintendent instead of 10-20 depending on the county. Third, school's of choice would not be an issue. The county district would simply get the money no matter what. Fourth, teachers and students would be able to work harder with and for each other with smaller class sizes. I'll stop there, but mostly it is about me for now. What a pain in the !@#% this is!!!

Also, my sweet little toddler seems to be taking on aggressive tendancies and I don't know what to do about them. The other night she was sitting on my lap and we were watching Maisy. Maisy was singing Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star so I started to sing along to M. She head butted me in the face with the back of her head. I thought she broke my nose. I was crying and let out some serious naughty words. It hurt like a $%^*!!! R came in and took her so I could look at the damage, which fortunately for everyone, there was no visible damage. That was Monday and my nose and tooth still hurt. The tooth may in fact be a bit loose. Why did she do this? I was just trying to sing her a song. R made it very clear to her that she hurt me and she said she was sorry with what seemed like some sympathy. That is the one thing I can count on from him. He will be stern with her if she hurts me in any way. Later, I went to tuck her in and I started to cry again because I was just so sad that she had done this. I think she really felt bad, but it just floored me that she had done this. She has been a kicker and a pusher on occasion, but never has she been so deliberate in hurting. I have really had to be quite stern with her lately as well. She doesn't want to take a nap and instead plays or reads books. Today while she was supposed to be napping, she had blocks, book, animals, and a trash can in her bead. I also discovered that she had filled the toilet with wet wipes and had clogged it. I really got after her and she did what I told her and went to sleep, but I had to really get after her. Am I being too strict? I'm hoping that this is just a stage. She seems to have so much energy and it's so hot out that we can't really burn it off. Am I horrible for just wanting to read a book or watch the news and drink my coffee? I know my friend at LawMommy would tell me to not feel guilty and I will try very hard not to be. I feel more guilt while being home with her than I do when I work. I know that staying at home is not my gig and work will do me, her, and R some good. I don't feel guilty about working. I know that when I leave her at daycare she is eating, playing, socializing, sharing, laughing, learning, running, jumping, etc. She has a great time there and I don't worry or feel one bit guilty. I just don't know how to get her to understand that hitting of any kind is bad and when I say no, I mean no.

In other family news, my mom cracked a rib when she fell into a boat, my dad is on oxygen at night for his sleep appnia (sp), my oldest brother and his family are doing OK after the wife was released from the room of bars, my second brother and his family are finally moved into their new addition after years of work, and my third brother and his family are doing well right where they are. My inlaws insist that my two year old can ride in the car in just a booster seat and R doesn't seem to care. Hello, it's against the state law for her not to be in a car seat!!! My brother-in-law won't let his four year old run at the park, very amusing. My sister-in-law and I have a fun connection and we laugh about lots of things, usually relating to how alike yet different our husbands are and about how our mother-in-law is always discussing weird medical conditions that we just don't want to know.

Have a great whatever, since I post most irregulary.
LOL,
CDR